I had a friend that I hired at my last job give up this week. Give up you might ask, give up on what? He gave up on everything. He made a choice to end his life on this earth with us and in doing so he left his wife and two kids to figure out this mess we call life without him. What drives a man to the point of "giving up" What makes someone think that answer, that carries so much finality with it, is the best answer.
I went to his funeral, I prayed at the start of the service, I read scripture that talked about strength for the family. I watched his wife cry from the start to the finish. I watched her jump out of her seat when the 21 gun salute started. I watched as his 5 year old son talked about loving his dad and the fun they had recently had. I watched and I kept thinking about my question, Why?
The service was over and a group of 150 family members, friends and about 30 officers filed out. At the door stood his wife. She spoke or cried with each person as they left. I had never met her before but I could see the love and the loss in her eyes. When it got to the end of the line and as she was finishing greeting officer after officer she got to me. She gave me a long look, she thanked me for the prayer and then she said it, "if only he had known" In a moment of complete stupidity I asked Knew what? She looked at all the people gathered and raised her arms, "this, all of this, all of you"
I left the service and drove home with good friends. Nobody said much. I kept thinking about what his wife had said, "if only he had known"; "if only he had known"
How many people do we pass by each and everyday that we care about, how many that we love? How many of them know how much you care? How many of them are near the end of a choice they cant ever take back? How many of them might change their mind if you slow down and tell them how much they mean to you? I am making a vow right now, I will not let another friend's wife ask me why her husband didn't know "about all of this, all of you"
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